The Case of the Star Crossed Wrestlers – August 20, 2018

August 20, 2018
Indianapolis, IN


It’s one of those days where you kind of just want it to be over and at the same time you don’t. You see, it’s my final wrestling match in my official career. After announcing my retirement and my career change to be Jansen Myrrh’s manager, I fully committed to fulfilling all my contracted dates which, to be honest, only left one.


What the f is a Luchasaur? Not gonna lie, I’d been dealing with the liked of Creed and this guy rather flew under my radar so I had to go and watch back to see who the heck this joker is. And it seems he’s one of those flip-dee-doo types who likes to jump around and fly through the air like a damned bat. He fancies himself some kind of acrobat.

I hate acrobats.

The nice thing about acrobats is what typically once you catch them, you can just squash them like a bug. Windshield splatter and all.

This match is going to be bittersweet as it will be my last match, but on the other hand I have a hand in developing someone who could be the greatest professional wrestler of our generation. She’s on the uphill climb right now and our paths are going to cross in the middle. She really broke out of her slump last week with her win over McKegger and her dismantling of Bratton. It was a thing of beauty for sure.

So this week, Indy to squash Luchasaur and then back to Denver so Myrrh can break the crown of that California Princess and send her back to the slums where she belongs.

“Hey Myrrh! You about ready to go? Flight to Indy is leaving soon.”

Knocking on the door, I wait for my protege to get her stuff cause the Uber is waiting for us. She rented this place in Portland where she trains at the Rose City Academy, but I keep telling her she should look into someplace more permanent. No sense in giving all your money to a guy who’s just gonna pay off his mortgage when you can give it to a bank and pay off a mortgage for your own place.

I paid off my place a long long time ago for when I retired and now look at me. I’ll be a few years longer I suppose until I get to enjoy it to its fullest. Finally the door opens and out comes Myrrh, dragging a suitcase which I take from her and we load it up into the Uber who has been patiently waiting.

“Who’s this guy you’re wrestling? Some flying dinosaur?” Myrrh asks as we head towards the airport.

I have to chuckle, “Luchasaur or something like that. Honestly, I don’t know all that much about him. Just what I read on the internet. I’ve mostly just been dealing with a few individuals but since this is my last match, figured I better go in there and remind them that I ain’t all washed up yet.”

She nods her head, looking ahead. “Not by a long shot, I think. You may have retired prematurely, but I’m not going to lie. I’m glad you’re here to help me out. Let me know if you want me to come down to the ring with you or something. I don’t mind. You do it for me all the time.”

“Well, it’s my job, so that’s what I do. It wouldn’t hurt to ask, I suppose.”

There’s an awkward silence. I want to ask her how she’s feeling about Bratton. I’ve been there. I’m not gonna lie. I put out a couple of folks from the business, just because I could. But I’ve always played the villain. She’s just getting the feel for it. I’m not getting any weird vibes from her, so maybe she’s just fine with it. Maybe it’s far more natural for her than I gave her credit for.

She is a Myrrh. Perhaps it is definitely in the bloodline.

As I’m pondering this all, the Uber pulls up to the curb at the airport and the moment has passed. As we disembark I remember why I hate flying. My fatass was not built for a plane, but unfortunately, we have too many places to go this week and flying is how it’s gonna have to be done.


There’s a pounding on the door and I’m not even ready to go. I’m trying to cram three suitcases full of stuff into one suitcase and it’s fighting me every step of the way. I finally sit on it and jump up and down until I’m finally able to get the zipper all the way around and pulls it off the bed with a thunk to the floor, and drag it to the door.

I open the door and Paul is there waiting reminding me that we gotta get  to the airport. He had already called for an Uber so here we go.

As we drive I ask him about his final opponent for IWS. Some dinosaur from Mexico, I guess. Luchasaur. Ha! What a lousy gimmick name. But I can tell Paul is a little sentimental about this particular match so I keep the comments to myself. He gets real quiet, so I let him be. I start thinking about my own upcoming match with the so-called California Princess, Ariana Bentley. She’s an odd girl for sure. It’s hard to get a read on her. I watched her match with Hamilton and she got her ass handed to her, but then last week she shames Chris Mosh in a matter of seconds. It’s like one week, her minds not in it and the next week she’s all aboard.

All I know is that I have to make a perfect showing this week after what happened last week or it will be all for naught. I refuse to go back to the cute little jobber girl. I’m going to have to make a statement and unfortunately for Bentley, it’s going to have to be at her expense.

We arrive at the airport and get the luggage out and head inside. Check in goes rather smoothly. Well, except for everyone staring at my manager like he’s going to be the one to single-handedly  cause the airplane to crash. I wanted to say something, but Paul must have noticed my annoyance and he grins at me.

“It’s why I always buy two seats.”

I guess that explains that as I nod to him in understanding. I can also see why he hates to fly.

Once we get into the air, it’s all relative anyway. And uneventful. Despite everyone else’s worry, the plane doesn’t crash solely due to Paul’s weight. In fact, we get to Indianapolis without so much as a hiccup. Deboarding was also uneventful as we get out luggage, hail a taxi and head to the hotel.

“Hey, Myrrh. We gotta follow up strong with Bentley this week. The Bratton thing will only get you over for so long before they’re gonna wanna see something new from you.” Paul is always thinking about wrestling. It’s his whole world. I get it. I really do.

“I had a couple of ideas, actually,” I respond as we are heading down the road. “Can we grab a bite and I’ll share my ideas with you? See what you think.”

Paul nods his head. “Sure. Let’s get checked in first and we’ll go right back out. Fair enough?”

“Fair enough.”

The California Princess can call me whatever names she wants to. But when our contest is over, I’m going to solidify my status as the real deal. I’m going to make sure that my name stays on everyone’s lips. When I’m done with Bentley, they’re going to have no choice but to put me on Good Times. I’m done being overlooked. I’m starting to generate a buzz and I need to keep that going.


She’s got a good head on her shoulders, that’s for sure. We decided on a plan for Bentley and hopefully it’ll play out as expected. If not, we’ll adjust fire. As for the Luchasaur:

“Let me tell you something, you masked freak. I didn’t get where I am in this business by letting some clown dressed as a dinosaur run over me. In fact, I don’t let guys run over me whatsoever. You can bring your gimmick and you can bring your flips and doodles, but in the end, it’s going to take one SPLAT to put you out and give me the pinfall victory.  Don’t think for one minute that I ain’t got what it takes to put you to the mat. You ain’t nothing but a little lizard and I’m going to squash you into reptile-paste. I’ll see you in, Indy! And then I’m gonna head over to Denver with Jansen Myrrh and watch her Myrrhder that clueless little broad, The California Princess. She’s going to hit you so hard with her Myrrhdriver that your tiara will slide down your head and cut off the rest of the oxygen to your brain!”


“Ariana Bentley, obviously you didn’t watch what I did to Candi Bratton last week or you wouldn’t be saying all that crap you’re saying about me.  It doesn’t matter to me who gets in my way! I’m going to put them down and that appears to start with you as I am coming to Thursday Throwdown to put you in your place. You live in your land of make believe where everything is roses and unicorns. You might have gotten past Mosh last week, but I’m stopping your momentum right now. It’s going to be back to the end of the line for you while I continue to skyrocket to the top and one day an opportunity for a championship match. As I said before, if I were you, I wouldn’t even show up to the match. I would just stay at home and play Sailor Moon with your fake tiaras and scepters. You aren’t no princess, Ariana. You’re just a pretender to the throne while I plan to invade, conquer and rule Mile High Wrestling. And you know what? There isn’t anything you can do about it.”