July 1, 2018
Candi Bratton storms into her favorite pub, brandishing what appears to be a sign of some sort. “What the fuck is this goddamned shit?” she asks as she slams the sign on the table. The sign reads “FOR SALE”.
The bartender walks over glancing at the commotion she’s causing, “Um. It looks like the owner is selling the bar.”
“So, what? Why is he selling the bar? What the fuck is wrong with it?”
“Nothing as far as I can tell. I think he’s just tired of running it.”
Candi drops down onto a bench and taps the bar which is code to give her a beer which comes shortly after.
“Good match with that Falls girl on Wednesday,” the bartender notes, trying to make some small talk.
Candi shrugs, “It was alright. I mean, she has some potential,” she pauses and takes a beer, “I mean, fuck, she’ll probably be really good one day when she fucking grows up. She probably still sleeps with a teddy bear and shit. She fucking thinks I should be knitting. There’s definitely something wrong with her.”
Bartender wipes down the counter in front of her, “But you have to tag with her this week, right? How’s that gonna work?”
“Well, I’ll give her some credit, she ran out when I was getting jump by the band of whores, but got her ass kicked, but I get that every week. Seems some motherfucker wants to jump me for no apparent reason.”
“No apparent reason, hm?” the bartender laughs.
“What the fuck you laughing about?”
The bartender leans on the bar, “Look, you antagonize people on purpose and you know it. So don’t get me this ‘no apparent reason’ bullshit. You do it on purpose because you want to piss them off.”
Candi lifts her mug and finishes the glass, “Now why would I want to do that?”
“Isn’t that the million dollar questions?”
“And guess who has the answer. Me.”
“So what’s the plan for your tag match this weekend.”
Candi thinks about it for a moment and then shrugs as she slides her glass for a refill. “I guess I’ll watch her train and tell her to just do what I tell her to do and we’ll be okay. Besides, when I get done with the tag match this week, and defeating Scrubs next week — I’m gonna petition the office to run a train on them motherfucking Shieldmaiden.”
A guy at the end of the bar spits out his drink as the bartender laughs and tosses him the rag, “You’re cleaning that shit up.”
Candi smirks, “What was so funny?”
“You can’t possibly think we think that you’re that naive?” the bartender is still laughing as he watches the dude cleaning himself up.
She swirls her beer in her mug and grins, “Well, I figure it was a phrase they’d be very familiar with so I went with it. What can you say? Seriously though, I want to take on all of them whores one by one. They want to use their fucking gang tactics on me? Those bitches have no idea what they’ve gotten themselves into.”
Candi finishes her beer and stands up, tossing a few bills on the counter and then picks up the sign. “Tell your boss I’ll buy his goddamned bar.”
“Are you serious?”
“Of course, I’m fucking serious,” she says as she walks towards the door, “I’ll be damned if I’m gonna try and find someplace new to go to get a fucking drink.”